Cake
For a long time I was bothered by the expression "You want to have your cake and eat it too". It never really made sense to me.
Then one day I realized that having your cake wasn't a synonym for eating it, but that the expression was trying to say either you can possess your cake or eat it, since once you have eaten it, you can no longer possess it.
Now I admit that this was not some grand revelation on the level of Siddhartha, but nonetheless it got me speaking. I mentioned it to several people and everyone noted that they hadn't really understood it either.
What has continued to bother me about this situation is that I never had the courage to admit my ignorance about this expression. And I began thinking about all of the other times in my life when I don't ackowledge that I don't understand something and how often other people do the same.
Is it really so terrible to admit that I don't know everything? Apparently yes.
Then one day I realized that having your cake wasn't a synonym for eating it, but that the expression was trying to say either you can possess your cake or eat it, since once you have eaten it, you can no longer possess it.
Now I admit that this was not some grand revelation on the level of Siddhartha, but nonetheless it got me speaking. I mentioned it to several people and everyone noted that they hadn't really understood it either.
What has continued to bother me about this situation is that I never had the courage to admit my ignorance about this expression. And I began thinking about all of the other times in my life when I don't ackowledge that I don't understand something and how often other people do the same.
Is it really so terrible to admit that I don't know everything? Apparently yes.
posted by Rye at 9:30 a.m.
5 Comments:
I never thought of that expression that way before. I think with a lot of the proverb/cliche type sayings, you just accept them as a given and don't really think about them too much.
I am a scambaiter and I bait the Nigerian 419 scammers. I like to use a lot of proverbs and quotes in my baits, because they really don't seem to get them and sometimes they get quite offended. I had this one scammer write and I said "Don't change horses in midstream" and he wanted me to explain precisely what that meant and it was one of the first times I had really thought about what it meant.
So I wrote him back this - About the leaving a horse in midstream, this is an old old saying my grandparents used to say. It means if you are riding a horse it is not a good idea to try to jump off the horse while it is galloping and get onto another horse and then ride that one, as one could fall from the horse one is jumping from and end up landing in a puddle of horse manure which would be very messy, or alternatively, one could end up breaking one's neck and dying on the spot. I am sure this will now make sense to you. Because this other guy contact me, I feel like you are trying to change the horses in midstream, I would rather deal only with you.
Great blog, btw - you're on my daily read list now.. ;)
Oh my god, now I get it! (We all know what it means, but now it makes sense.thanks)
Actually the saying is supposed to be: You can't eat your cake and have it too. That makes more sense
Really sorry to read the news in your posts last month mate. There are some similarities between your situation and the situation which my boyfriend number 1 found himself in as a result of what I’d been doing. But in fact I think the situations are completely different.
The one thing that strikes me the most is that over the last year or so, I’ve been making a lot of effort to prove to my boyfriend number 1 that I still love him, which is why we’re still together. But your Bud isn’t making any effort at all. Similarly, although I can’t defend the dishonesty that accompanied my infidelity after five years of a monogamy, the reason I did it was because I didn’t want to hurt him. It sounds like Bud is exhibiting the opposite behaviour, designed to force a split. The strange thing is that it sounds like Bud doesn’t have any way to support himself, because he is unemployed.
My amateur diagnosis, if you’ll pardon the expression, is that Bud has some kind of psychological condition such as severe depression. He’s exhibiting a high level of attention-seeking behaviour. It sounds like his life has lost direction completely, and with some kind of death-wish he’s trying to hurt the one person that loves him the most, namely you.
So I reckon Bud needs some kind of therapy. If you can convince himself to get help, I see no reason why you won’t end up staying together. Your continued support during this process will be vital to help him get his life back on course.
But if he won’t accept that anything is wrong, and if he won’t get help, things can only get worse. And worse. I’m sorry to say that my guess is that this is the direction that things will take. In a downward spiral where help is offered and repeatedly refused, no one in your position should be expected to stay until the bitter end. Ultimately, you deserve a fulfilling life too.
I know you’ve had enough advice on this to last a lifetime but I bet my thoughts are a bit different. Try to persuade him to get help, but simultaneously set yourself a point of no return, which means identifying things that he might end up doing which are completely unacceptable. It will be terribly painful but you owe it to yourself to stick to your guns. If he crosses the point of no return, you have to ditch him.
GB
Good God. Didn't you people go to school?
Post a Comment
<< Home