I Ran

I received an email from a reader the other day that I just couldn’t bring myself to respond to. It was from a gay guy in Iran who had recently visited Europe and was overwhelmed by the possibility of being gay in a free society. He asked me for advice on how to find someone to love and I just couldn’t respond.

First off, what the fuck do I know about finding love. For me, its always just happened. There never was any plan or any scheme to find my one and only. Bud and I just lucked into each other.

Secondly, how the hell do I help someone who is gay and in Iran of all places. It certainly has given me pause. I see that so many of my squabbles with how gay people are treated here are really not all that bad when considered relative to what other people in the world go through. Of course, my basis for relatively inside my own culture must be other people who live in this society (or else what is the point?), but I definitely understand that a lot of people are far worse off. I cannot imagine having to live with being gay in a place where it is subject to the death penalty.

We here in the West have made much progress on the acceptability of gays and lesbians. Of that there can be no doubt. And I can only imagine the intense envy of someone living outside of that construct. I have written before about how the internet has given many young gay people the chance to realize that they are not alone. That there is a world out there that is just like them and that there are places where they will be accepted. But this is only good for those people that can actually get there. What about those who can see that there is this utopia (from their perspective), but do not have any means or way to get there? What kind of hell is it to have the piece of food within view, but without the reach to end starvation?

My hearts aches for what these people have to go through. The torment that they will likely live with for the rest of their lives.

And I have no answers for this young man.

I have no advice to give.

I have no right to give hope.

And I find myself only thanking that this is where and when I was born and praying that the times will change in more worlds that the one before my eyes and beneath my feet.