Unforgiven
A number of years ago I walked into a movie theatre to see a film that I had heard got raves at the Toronto Film Festival. I knew nothing about the film but thought I would give it a chance. What happened next was nothing short of a transcendental experience. I was completely absorbed into a world that resembled my dreams – especially how I fly in them. And that movie was Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
It was unlike anything I had seen before. A ballet with swords and a love story of intense longing and unfulfilled passion.
And when I recently saw Brokeback Mountain also by Ang Lee, similar emotions overtook me. While the dancing is gone, the longing and passion remained. This film was devastating to me. Filmed in my home province of Alberta it held resonance for me and my childhood. I experienced and not just watched the torment of feeling one way and being forced to act another. But it was not just the pain of how these two men are unable to find permanent happiness with one another that effected me.
I saw the pain in a woman’s eyes that I myself had once caused.
With the comedy plot of Will & Grace I often forget the real pain that the Graces of the world find thrust upon themselves when they discover that their partner/boyfriend/husband/lover is actually gay. There is a real betrayal there. And that betrayal is magnificently shown in the movie.
I dated women when I was younger and the relationships, no matter how much I cared for them as people, were always predicated on a lie. I was never really attracted to them – they were my beards, my camouflage, my masks. I used them to protect myself, without any regard for what this meant to them. Self centered egotist that considered them more as tools than anything else.
Of course, I didn’t think of it in that way then, but I see it more clearly now. And certain sequences in the film reinforce this. Two woman. One who transforms from the painful attempts to repress the knowledge into the fury of confrontation and confusion. The other, a metamorphosis from the fiery brunette whose colour is slowing drained into an icy shell of emotionless resignation.
Brokeback Mountain shows passion in all of its permutations from the ecstatic to the devasting and it is through this exploration of our impact on each other that it finds its true beauty.
It was unlike anything I had seen before. A ballet with swords and a love story of intense longing and unfulfilled passion.
And when I recently saw Brokeback Mountain also by Ang Lee, similar emotions overtook me. While the dancing is gone, the longing and passion remained. This film was devastating to me. Filmed in my home province of Alberta it held resonance for me and my childhood. I experienced and not just watched the torment of feeling one way and being forced to act another. But it was not just the pain of how these two men are unable to find permanent happiness with one another that effected me.
I saw the pain in a woman’s eyes that I myself had once caused.
With the comedy plot of Will & Grace I often forget the real pain that the Graces of the world find thrust upon themselves when they discover that their partner/boyfriend/husband/lover is actually gay. There is a real betrayal there. And that betrayal is magnificently shown in the movie.
I dated women when I was younger and the relationships, no matter how much I cared for them as people, were always predicated on a lie. I was never really attracted to them – they were my beards, my camouflage, my masks. I used them to protect myself, without any regard for what this meant to them. Self centered egotist that considered them more as tools than anything else.
Of course, I didn’t think of it in that way then, but I see it more clearly now. And certain sequences in the film reinforce this. Two woman. One who transforms from the painful attempts to repress the knowledge into the fury of confrontation and confusion. The other, a metamorphosis from the fiery brunette whose colour is slowing drained into an icy shell of emotionless resignation.
Brokeback Mountain shows passion in all of its permutations from the ecstatic to the devasting and it is through this exploration of our impact on each other that it finds its true beauty.
posted by Rye at 9:41 a.m.
1 Comments:
yes.. i don't doubt. I must confess to being slightly scared to watch this movie. I'm not sure I want it resurfacing some of the memories it is bound to.
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